When life gives you dirt...

...most of us would just kick the dirt, plop down and cry and that would be the end of our story.  But Stacie changed her story by adding water and making mud, and after patting it, rolling it, shaping it, she's making a beautiful sculpture - a life for her and her three children.


We met Stacie at the INNterim Shelter at their December Open House.  Her bright smile greeted us as we munched on cookies and then her poetic words touched us as she shared her vision, her hopes, and her fears, written from the vantage point of looking out of an airplane window.  She had her book of poetry and a self-published life story for sale in the back of the room and on-line.  I'm almost embarrassed to say that I was surprised to find out that she wasn't an employee of the shelter, but a resident.  Because this radiant, intelligent, smartly-dressed woman with a neatly tied headwrap was not what homeless mothers were "supposed" to look like.  How does that happen?  I had to ask her and she graciously answered.

Her life has followed a dirt path.  Rocks of abuse and violence have been strewn along the way, she's tripped over clods of family upheaval and teenage pregnancy, and teetered on the hole of depression.  She was married and divorced, in subsequent male and female relationships that didn't work out.  The most recent relationship dissolved when Stacie finally listened to God's quiet voice telling her that she wasn't with the person He had for her.  When she left that relationship, where she was the stay-at-home mother and full-time college student, she lost her home.

This story might end differently if Stacie hadn't finished high school, earned an Associate's degree and then a Bachelor's degree.  It might've been a different story if she didn't have the resolve to find the resources to house her three children and find a job.  This might've been a different story if she never realized that God has forgiven her for everything and wants her to forgive herself.  Through everything, she finally realized that sometimes you have to wait on God and He moves in His own time.

Her story reminds us that we don't know why evil comes into our life.  In His infinite wisdom and power, how do bad things happen to innocent people?  It makes us realize the price of free-will.  But also the strength that God offers us, if we only let Him into our lives and our hearts.

Stacie has acknowledged the pain in her life and has concluded that perhaps by sharing her story, she can help another woman realize that she's not alone in suffering a betrayal from the people she loves and who are supposed to love her.  Stacie realized that the bad done to her was not her fault, that she didn't have to feel guilty for other people's actions, and that she could be a better person.  With proceeds from her sales, she hopes to build a scholarship fund for young, Black males to attend private middle and high schools and college.  She's working to keep a daughter in college and a safe home for her children.

Meeting Stacie was an inspirational blessing.  We met her when we were donating gifts of warmth for the children residing at the shelter.  In return, we met this strong, resilient woman.  I don't know how often she cries at night, I don't know how many times she looks back at her life with regret or sadness.  But I am sure that she can see the sunlight in her future, despite any rain clouds that may come her way.  And I pray that she keeps on making beautiful mud sculptures out of the dirt that gets in her way.


For more information about Stacie J. Whitaker-Harris's story of victory & triumph,
Find her books on Amazon:
Embracing Me Memoir: Hell & Heaven at 8
Whitaker Book of Poetry

Seventy times seven

Jewish law held that one should forgive someone who has offended you four times.  Peter thought he would demonstrate generosity if he forgave someone seven times and asks Jesus, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me?  Seven times?"  Jesus replied, "No, seventy times seven." [Matthew 18:21-35]

As we go into this new year, is there anyone who you need to forgive?  What grudges are you holding on to?  Who offended you, last year or the year before that or a decade ago, and you still haven't forgiven them?  

Sometimes, we won't forgive someone for an offense because we confuse forgiveness and acceptance of the offending behavior.  Because I forgive someone for lying to me, doesn't mean I accept this betrayal and am inviting them to do it again.  Forgiveness is not for them, its for me.  Forgiveness allows me to let go of the anger, put down the burden of the grudge, release the stress in my heart of being mad and move on with my life.

Has this ever happened to you?  You're minding your business, driving down the highway, singing along with Marvin Sapp on the radio, then out of no-where, someone speeds past you and cuts across your lane.  You, of course, are mad.  And there you are, sitting in your closed car, yelling, getting all worked up while the other guy has driven off to wherever he needed to go.  You get to work and keep fussing about this guy who cut across your lane as you go about your day.  At lunch, you share this story with your friend, getting all worked up and barely able to enjoy your double cheeseburger and fries.  And driving home after work, you drive with your hands clenched on the steering wheel, not even able to turn on your radio.

How much more pleasant would the day have been if we had just rolled our eyes when the other driver cut across the lane and went back to singing?

In the same way, by not forgiving, we are holding on to pain and letting it ruin our outlook and enjoyment of lfe.  Yes, if you have been betrayed or hurt by someone you love and someone who is supposed to love you, its much more deeper than being cut off on the highway.  And, the anger and stress we are allowing that offense to inflict on ourselves is greater as well.

Allow yourself better days, let the burden of anger roll of your back.  Even if you don't see that person who hurt you, or don't want to see them, release the grudge from your heart.  Do it for yourself.

Enjoy the blessings of this brand new year!